Oil and Lacquer

It was wedding season.  In a traditional Vietnamese wedding the groom, with his family and friends, go over the bride’s home and askes her parents for her hand in marriage.  More often than not, the parents agree.  Then, the bride and groom pray to the ancestors of the bride.  The bride’s parents express their happiness and the mother gives her daughter jewelry and a straw hat, which will protect from the sun and rain on the way to her new husband’s home.

After some congratulations, the groom takes his bride (along with some of her family and friends) to his home where the rest of his family is waiting.  The couple prays to the groom’s ancestors. Then listen to some happy remarks from his parents. An M.C. announces the happy couple and everyone goes crazy.  The groom’s parents adorn the bride with more jewelry.  The couple walks around the offer the guests some treats.

In the first wedding that we went to, we were friends of the groom.  The wedding started at 11 am.  We arrived at the groom’s house and everyone was getting ready on their scooters to accompany the groom’s limo to the brides home, which was about 5 minutes away.

We paraded to her house where there were many people waiting. She was still getting ready up stairs, but he went up anyways.  From the moment they saw each other they were rushed to the altar room, prayed, then rushed down to meet the guests.  The bride’s parents said that they were thrilled about this marriage.  Then, the mother gave her daughter earrings, a necklace, and a straw hat.  They marched out of the house and got into the limo.  We got back on our scooters and followed them back to the groom’s house.

 The couple was welcomed with confetti, whistles, and horns.  They rushed to the altar room, prayed to the groom’s ancestors, and took a look at their new bedroom.  Then listened to praise remarks from his parents. The bride got a pair of golden earrings from the groom’s mother.  Then, the couple exchanged wedding rings. The M.C. has his mic in hand and announces the happy couple.  They walk around offering cigarettes and green tea to their guests.

In the second wedding that we went to, we were friends of the bride.  The wedding started the night before the wedding, when we gathered at the bride’s home for karaoke and other entertainment.  This night was to celebrate her last night in her home that she grew up in.

The next morning, we gathered at her house at 6 am.  There was an abundance of food.  We ate and drank and waited for her groom to come.  At around 8 am, he came with his entourage.  He went to her room, where she was still getting ready.  He waited until she was done, then they went and prayed to her ancestors.  Her parents gave some words of approval.  They offered candy and betal and areca to their guests.

The bride’s sister was crying and wouldn’t let her go.  Her mother gave her an embroidered straw hat and some jewelry.  The M.C. exclaimed at how perfect the couple was.  Then, the groom escorted his bride out of the house.  He lived in Hoa Binh which is an hour away from Ha Nam.  So, only some of the family and friends got on a bus that followed the wedding car to the couple’s new home.  It was 9 am and we decided to go back to sleep.